Against the Huns - The Society of St. Leo I

Finale

2008-03-21T23:22:00.001-07:00

That poor organ! Poor, poor organ! Crushed under the stones!

So here is a recap of what happened:

Fr. Heidrich was just lowering the tiara the Borgias brought from Washington, D.C. onto Fr. Chad's head when the FBI arrived. The Borgias pulled out their concealed weapons, including 90 year-old Lucrezia in her wheelchair. Fr. Heidrich pulled out his Mauser from beneath his vestments and ducked behind the throne. Fr. Chad kept on telling everyone named Anathema to sit, but either no one was named Anathema or nobody heard him. Then there was this earthquake, and the walls of the chapel collapsed. The keystone swung violently directly above where Fr. Chad was. The rope suddenly snapped, and the stone hit Fr. Chad on the head. Thank goodness he was wearing that tiara, or he could've gotten hurt badly. Miraculously the tiara didn't even dent!

Fr. Chad is recovering in the hospital. He currently has amnesia, not remembering ever being the Pope or even a priest. He's actually been friendly towards the hospital chaplain, who likes both Latin and the Novus Ordo.

Fr. Heidrich suffered minor injuries and was extradited back to Germany on unknown charges.

Fr. Anderson was expelled from Iraq the very same day, after a historic act of parliament unanimously declared his approach to proselytism "violent extremism." His current whereabouts are unknown.

The tiara went back to D.C. with Agent Smith, who made sure its disappearance was kept secret.

As for me... Fr. Juno, is St. Albert the Great in need of an organist?

HABEMUS PAPAM!

2008-03-20T12:07:00.000-07:00

The time is almost upon us, so we shall reveal what we have been told by divine revelation. The "Church" currently occupying the halls of Rome has forsaken Tradition and has taken to sail wherever the winds of Modernism takes her. This is most displeasing to the Lord, who has, in turn, deigned to start His Church anew here in Knoxville, TN.

To that end, I, Chadwick LeJanvier of the Society of Saint Leo I, have been appointed Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church. I shall be officially coronated, tiara and all, at tonight's Dedication Ceremony as Pope Leo XIV. But even before the coronation, we still hold all powers of the Pontifical Office, and thus a few orders of business:

The "Novus Ordo," in all its forms, has been suppressed.
Fr. Heidrich is appointed Grand Inquisitor of the Holy Office. He shall be made Cardinal at the next Consistory.
The usage of modern appliances such as motorcars is a cause for grave sin.
The following have been charged with formal heresy on diverse counts: Fr. Timothy Plarvik, Fr. Curt Kane, Maryann McGronk, Ché Lovell, Dr. Thomas Al-Fakkir, Todd Turk, H. Robert Williams, P. V. Rajendajendan, Dr. and Ms. Argot, Britnee Hamilton, and all others who have ever associated themselves with Spirit of Vatican 2 Parish.
Spirit of Vatican 2 Parish will be closed and sold for scrap.
Knoxville is hereby appointed an Archdiocese and St. Leo the Great a Cathedral-Basilica.
The following Orders have been suppressed: the Gorbertines, the Society of Jesus, Opus Dei, the Canons Regular of St. John Cantius, the Personal Apostolic Administration of St. John Mary Vianney, the FSSP, the SSPX, and all such liberal orders.

Spy Wednesday

2008-03-19T19:56:00.000-07:00

Agent Smith, I simply cannot accept the accusations you have given me against the Borgias. I will have to take you up on your offer of showing me the declassified documents on them to become totally convinced. The Borgias are a very pious Italian family who has made their fortune by expanding their meat-packing industry by harnessing the power of the interweb to procure seafood... at least that is how I understood it. They could not possibly be involved in organized crime!

If it is any consolation, I can tell you this much: the entire family plans to attend the Dedication tomorrow. They will be flying in from Washington, however, as that is the closest location, they have informed me, that they could retrieve a particular item that they wish to gift us.

Another Apparition

2008-03-19T16:50:00.000-07:00

It no longer matters that I did not win the election. After my usual afternoon tea, having tried the leaves sent to me from Vincenzo, I went to pray before Our Lady of Knoxville (the miraculous image on the apple) . And Lo! A heavenly vision appeared before me! And I heard a loud voice speak to me saying, (in Latin, of course: the heavenly language, of which has been translated to the English here): "LeJanvier, thou art my servant. Do not fear the outcome of the Episcopal election. Democracy is an abhorrence to the Kingdom of God; an invention of the Freemasons, perennial enemies of the Church. To thee We hath deemed a much greater vocation."

What my new mission is, I cannot reveal until tomorrow's Dedication. However, I have informed the Borgias by electronic mail, who I need to complete the preparations.

Chapel Dedication

2008-03-14T18:53:00.000-07:00

It is about time that we give an update on construction of St. Leo the Great Chapel. We have been interviewed by WVLT for some upcoming report of theirs. At first I thought is had to do with the imminent debate for the next Bishop of Knoxville, but it in fact was related to the topic of urban blight. The man seemed to have short-term memory problems, since he would frequently ask "What are you doing about the situation?" and I would reply, "Just look around you!" and he would respond "I know. What are you going to do about it?" I also assured him that we are members of the City of God, not the City of Man, and thus are not bound to secular building codes.

Here are some photos of our progress:

Next week we plan to install the keystone of the main arch, which brings me to our next announcement:

All are Cordially Invited to

SOLEMN HIGH MASS

in Commemoration of the Dedication of the Keystone of

SAINT LEO THE GREAT CHAPEL

Knoxville, TN

March 20, 2008

Go St. Mary's!

2008-02-19T10:04:00.000-08:00

The SSLI and the SSPX may not agree on every issue, but in this one we are in solidarity:

Removal of woman referee by religious school has some crying foul

Hola from Mexico!

2008-02-15T17:14:00.000-08:00

I received a shipment from our good friends the Borgias today. Besides the usual generous donation, there is a package containing some green tea. Vincenzo says to give this to his grandfather Donato, but certainly he won't miss a spot of tea or two...

Today's Commemoration

2008-02-14T13:38:00.000-08:00

Today (14 February) is the Commemoration of St. Valentine, Martyr. It is NOT a celebration of rampant hedonism nor is it the Feast of Ss. Cyril and Methodius, which falls on 5 July [Leo XIII, Grande Munus].

From the Index Non Prohibitum

2008-02-07T21:00:00.000-08:00

The "Catholic" Quo Vadis (whose interweblog is on the Index and therefore should NOT be read) hath tagged me with a même.

1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).

It is entitled "I Am America (and so can you) by one of the last bastions of truthiness left in this nation, Stephen Colbert.

2. Open the book to page 123.

Bien sur.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

Je finis.

4. Post the next three sentences.

But my sheepskin announces to all assembled that though I may be a man of the people, I also have the keys to the clubhouse. I can't count the number of times I've heard the phrase, "You went to Dartmouth? I find that hard to believe." Admissions is an arbitrary and demoralizing process, and no matter how hard you work, the outcome is often determined by personal connections.

5. Tag five people.

Five is even more than showed up for Mass at our chapel last week, so I shall tag Fr. Heidrich and George.

-the Future Most Rev. Chadwick LeJanvier, SSLI, Bishop of Knoxville

Our Lady of Knoxville

2008-01-29T19:48:00.000-08:00

Having examined the apple brought to me by George, I am officially declaring this an authentic apparition of Our Lady. Surely this portends God's blessings on our humble apostolate.

To celebrate this momentous occasion, a 72-hour MANDATORY period of fasting and prayer shall commence at midnight before the Image. Remember, all TRULY traditional Catholics must believe in the authenticity of this apparition DE FIDE, just like Fatima or Our Lady of the Roses.

A reliquary will be designed for this miraculous Image (pictured below) and will be promenently displayed in the soon-to-be completed chapel.

MIRACLE!

2008-01-29T09:44:00.000-08:00

FR. CHAD! FR. CHAD! Just now I cut open an apple, but today I cut it sideways and found the seeds shaped like a star but even more than that there was an image of the Virgin Mary inside! I'll bring it over to the chapel at rehearsal.

Those who have walked in darkness....

2008-01-28T19:49:00.000-08:00

Deo gratias! Finally we are able to pay our electricity and interweb bills. Money has been tight since the Borgias left us. They have gone on pilgrimage to Mexico for an undisclosed amount of time. They unfortunately left no contact information as they did not want Agent Smith to know their whereabouts for some odd reason.

Doctoresses

2007-10-23T15:01:00.000-07:00

Bishop Williamson, SSPX has some poignant points to make about how erroneous it is for conciliar Rome to be giving the title "Doctor of the Church" to women. A contention he failed to mention is in the symbology of the biretta, implying the priestly authority of the Church being granted to them. Are we being primed for the introduction of "priestesses"?

Nota bene: the image below may offend SSLI members and benefactors!

Bishop Williamson's interweblog article may be found here. He has accordingly been added to the list of those who proclaim the truthiness of the Truly True Church.

I have been Tagged

2007-10-14T20:16:00.000-07:00

1. Do you attend the Traditional Latin Mass or the Novus Ordo?

I attend the One, True Mass: a Traditional Latin Mass celebrated by the Society of Saint Leo I.

2. If you attend the TLM, how far do you drive to get there?

I live in the rectory immediately next to the church, so I walk. I don't even own a car, being made by the apostate scientists of the Modernist Age.

3. If you had to apply a Catholic label to yourself, what would it be?

A member of the One, Truly True Faith: the Society of Saint Leo I.

4. Are you a comment junkie?

That would be a grave sin of vanity. However, comments are very much welcome and appreciated.

5. Do you go back to read the comments on the blogs you’ve commented on?

Certainly. One wants to see the responses to one's messages, no?

6. Have you ever left an anonymous comment on another blog?

Moi? Certainly not!

7. Which blogroll would you most like to be on?

Though perhaps not traditional enough, I would be honored to appear on Archbishop Fellay's interweb links.

8. Which blog is the first one you check?

My nemesis, the interweblog of SOV2, but only to learn of what dastardly deed they are planning next that I may thwart it.

9. Have you met any other bloggers in person?

Only those who were at the Ecumenical Picnic last summer.

10. What are you reading?

Cornelius Otto Jansen, Augustinius

Bonus Question! Has your site been banned by Spirit of Vatican II?

This is true.

If it has, who do you think Father Tim really is?

I have known Fr. Plarvik for many years an I am not so sure he knows who he is himself.

Furthermore, Twisted Valley, the interwebsite that has tagged me with this même, has been deemed not traditional enough and is thus EXCOMMUNICATED from Truly True Church.

LIES!!! LIES I TELL YOU!!!

2007-10-06T04:37:00.001-07:00

While patrolling the interweb for heresies, especially those spread by the perfidious Spirit of Vatican 2 Parish, I stumbled upon this interweblog, "Secrets of Spirit of Vatican 2" which claims that Spirit of Vatican 2 Parish does not really exist. As much as I wish that were true, it simply cannot be the case. How else did I go to seminary with Fr. Plarvik, or participate in their ecumenical picnic? But worst of all, THERE IS SOMEONE PRETENDING TO BE ME!

I asked George, who knows much more about the workings of the interweb than I, being familiar with the complex tubular system that comprises the organ which is similar to the interweb, and he had only one explanation: demons.

Yea, the very APE OF GOD is as we speak trying to destroy Christ's very own TRULY TRUE CHURCH with his LIES AND DECEITS! He has come so much as to the gate. Yet never may he prevail against our TRUTHINESS!

Therefore in light of this, Secrets of SOV2 has been banned, excommunicated, anathemized, and given a complete exorcism. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES MAY ANYONE VISIT SECRETS OF SOV2 LEST HE LOSE HIS IMMORTAL SOUL TO THE DEVIL!

Mea Culpa

2007-10-05T12:58:00.000-07:00

I humbly apologize for not maintaining this interweblog as of late, but as they say, I have thirty-six things to do. In fact, I am writing this to you from a new-fangled iPhone as I am currently discussing with the designer the designs for the retable. Hopefully an update on the Chapel will be forthcoming.

Interweb back!

2007-08-27T18:33:00.000-07:00

I apologise for yet another long absence. Apparently I grossly misjudged the price of travertine and had no money left in the coffers to pay for the interweb bill. Thanks once again for the generous donation from the Borgias to keep our humble apostolate running. You and your deceased loved ones shall be in my prayers now.

This Motu business has been causing even more trouble for us. Just yesterday some Neo-Caths wandered into our Sacred Tent/Construction Site, apparently attracted by our choir's magnificent performance of the Gloria. Unfortunately, the rabble-rousers caused quite a ruckus at coffee hour in the future Social Hall (currently located in the deep pit behind the Tent). They were terribly upset for they had mistaken us for the "indult mass" and insisted on going to a heretical Modernist "Mass" since ours "didn't fulfill Sunday Obligation". I also got quite irate as they insisted that the Pope was Catholic. Fortunately Lucrezia--bless her 90-year-old heart--can outrant even the most impudent self-righteous Neo-Cath and they soon fled from our Holy Place.

Long Time, No Interweblog

2007-08-09T12:06:00.000-07:00

Well things have been busy here at the chapel. Construction is coming along nicely. The exorcism appeared to be more effective than I expected, but was unfortunately only temporary. The demons conjured by the witch, however, seem to have vanished permanently. I have sent George to investigate.

Following that, I went on a pilgrimage to Our Lady of the Roses Shrine in Bayside, NY. Quite a relaxing place, and I learned so much about the impending apocalypse.

Upon returning to Knoxville, I heard of a meeting of the heretical Knights of Columbus over in Nashiville. So Fr. Heidrich, George, and myself went with the Borgias in their SUV (I should remind you, Vincenzo, that you shouldn't be driving without a license plate). When we arrived, we saw Sir Feeney was already there proslytizing the heathens. Together we passed out flyers I had printed entitled "8,792 Heresies of the Concicular Church." At one point, one of these knights offended Sir Feeney's honor, and was challenged to a duel. Do not let your defeat bother you, Sir Feeney, your opponent was much your elder and thus more experienced.

The Power of Christ Compels You!!

2007-07-23T12:04:00.000-07:00

Since Fr. Plarvik insists on not letting us perform an exorcism unless it denies the existence of the devil and "respects the deceiver-trickster archetypes of indigenous cultures" (did he learn that line from the late H Robert?), Fr. Heidrich and I will at some point perform a long-distance exorcism, similar to what Pope Pius XII did to Hitler. As one might recall, that did not go so smoothly, so we are giving advanced notice.

Further Announcements

2007-07-18T18:52:00.000-07:00

Some announcements that failed to make the bulletin. In order to not emulate the Novus Ordo, I refuse to make announcements in the midst of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, but I've been so busy with the construction project I forgot to mention them here until now. Also, due to recent developments, I have some more to add.

Since our destruction of a city block downtown and subsequent celebration of the Eucharist in a tent on the construction site, curiosity in the SSLI has grown considerably. However, this has also attracted certain "undesirables". These persons do not come dressed in appropriate attire to stand before Our Lord. Anything short of a SUIT AND TIE for men and a MANTILLA AND DRESS for women is UNACCEPTABLE ATTIRE. Being an on-call nurse practitioner or being poor and homeless are NOT ACCEPTABLE EXCUSES. I will not tolerate our Chapel becoming a Novus Ordo circus.

Friday Bingo Night will now also include roulette and a craps table thanks to the generous help of the Borgia family. Proceeds will of course go towards the Renovation Fund (after a percentage asked to cover Vincenzo's operating expenses).

As some may have heard, certain charges against our own Sir Feeney have been levied. Having investigated the charges myself, I have confirmed that he is indeed an escaped mental patient but more importantly has received valid Orders. I therefore see no problem in keeping the Holy Knights of the Truly Traditional Church as an Order of the SSLI. A reminder that we only offer spiritual support and have no administrative ties to the organization (and thus we know nothing of Mr. Fawcett's disappearance).

Finally, St. Benedict medals are available in the vestibule (currently the large hole before you reach the tent) for a small fee of $2.99 for aid in the protection against evil, which the presence of witchcraft in our fair city has wrought upon us all.

On Notice

2007-07-16T08:10:00.000-07:00

The Pope may be an indifferentist, but we are not! The following non-Churches have been put "On Notice". Thank you Monsieur Colbert, for standing up for all things truthy!

Britian Reconquered!

2007-07-12T07:13:00.000-07:00

Deo Gratias! Assuming by "Roman Catholic" he means the exiled Rome to be found in Knoxville, TN, which I am sure he does.

Also, I have invited M. Colbert to receive proper thurible training from Fr. Heidrich.

Leonard Feeney, Ora Pro Nobis!

2007-07-11T06:22:00.000-07:00

Once again, Rome proves herself removed from the One True Faith! Based on the initial reports, I was at first overjoyed that the Pope may have been returning to the Truly Traditional Church. "If it isn't Catholic, then it's not a proper church, says Pope" "Pope Calls Non-Catholic Churches 'Defective'" the headlines read. I almost removed the Holy See from the Index, but before doing so, I stumbled upon the actual document (TRULY FAITHFUL BEWARE!) It turns out that Ratzinger-Benedict is in actuality still obstinate in his warm and fuzzy ultra-LIBERAL ways!

The document reads: "It is possible, according to Catholic doctrine, to affirm correctly that the Church of Christ is present and operative in the churches and ecclesial Communities not yet fully in communion with the Catholic Church, on account of the elements of sanctification and truth that are present in them." "It follows that these separated churches and Communities, though we believe they suffer from defects, are deprived neither of significance nor importance in the mystery of salvation. In fact the Spirit of Christ has not refrained from using them as instruments of salvation, whose value derives from that fullness of grace and of truth which has been entrusted to the Catholic Church"

THE HORROR! Whatever happened to "Outside the Church NO Salvation"? No, we shall not bow to such BLATANT ECUMENISM! The Truthiness shall prevail!

The Joy of My Youth

2007-07-10T09:48:00.001-07:00

I was patrolling the interweb for heresy when I stumbled upon this video. It brought back memories of when I was in seminary (the SSPX one that I was kicked out of).

Remember, IT'S NOT HOCKEY UNLESS IT'S PLAYED IN A CASSOCK!

Motu Non Gratis

2007-07-07T19:42:00.000-07:00

There is much confusion over the latest "motu propio" that I fear the Truly Faithful may be mislead by the deceits of Apostate Rome. The following catechism shall instruct the Truly Faithful so they do not have to read the accursed document themselves. It also may be instructive for the media to read (since I have been receiving many inquiries from them).

Q) Why was the Motu Proprio released?

A) The Motu Proprio was released in conspiracy with the Freemasons and the Communists in order to fool the Truly Traditional into uniting with Rome and embrace heretical post-Vatican II doctrines.

Q) Does the Motu Proprio allow for more widespread use of the Traditional Latin Mass?

A) Only as an "extraordinary expression", and by this Ratzinger (the so-called Pope Benedict) is not complementing its heavenly nature. Instead, he places the Mass of the Saints as second to the blasphemous Novus Ordo. Anything short of the complete rejection of the Novus Ordo shall not be acceptable to us.

Q) When may be the Traditional Latin Mass be said?

A) The Traditional Latin Mass is ONLY allowed to be said once on Sundays and Holy Days, and ONLY in private or ONLY if there is some demand from the laity. In other words I cannot hijack a Novus Ordo parish and impose the Latin Mass upon them all! How dare the Pope restrict us so!

Q) How does the Novus Ordo differ from the Traditional Latin Mass?

A) The Novus Ordo involves facing the congregation, speaking in the barbaric vernacular, mandatory bad music, "priestesses", and felt banners. The following photos show the difference:

Q) What conditions remain for the SSLI to unite with Rome?

A) The SSLI and Rome have diverged so much that are are really two different religions at this point. Not only must the Novus Ordo be abolished, it must be admitted to be a heretical rite, and Vatican II a heretical Council. Pope Hilarius must be recognized as an antipope. Also the dogma that everyone except Catholics go to hell must be enforced. The SSLI and its orders must receive full recognition, as well as my rightful claim to be Bishop of Knoxville. They must release the REAL third secret of Fatima. And the Vatican must pay for my lawsuit with the Church of Scientology for inadvertently destroying their Knoxville headquarters. Should all these grievances be met, we shall at that time present a further list of grievances, and so on and so forth.

ANATHEMA SIT

2007-07-06T23:12:00.001-07:00

Effective immediately, all individuals who have been excommunicated or who have had their interweblog added to the Index Prohibitum are REQUIRED to display the above placard on any and all of their interweb publications. The notice label is designed to warn all who happen upon such interweb locations that extreme heresy and apostasy lie within. Such measures are absolutely necessary so as to ensure the spiritual safety of all those innocent and impressionable souls who wander about the interweb. ANY HERETIC REFUSING TO CORRECTLY EMPLOY THE MONIKER SHALL BE IMMEDIATELY REPORTED TO THE FIRST KNIGHT SUPREME OF THE HOLY KNIGHTS OF THE TRUELY TRUE CHURCH FOR PUNISHMENT.

BOOM!

2007-07-06T19:33:00.001-07:00

Some had asked to personally help with the demolition of the old chapel. However, it was ultimately our decision that a really really big explosion was most appropriate for the job.

As for the buildings adjacent to the former chapel... consider it eminent domain.

I Bring Glad Tidings!

2007-07-05T20:25:00.000-07:00

Having counted the proceeds of yesterday's picnic, I believe we have enough to begin construction of the new chapel. Demolition is set for tomorrow.

A Truly Traditional Order

2007-07-03T20:57:00.000-07:00

I have given George time off from his Inquisitor role so he can work more on the organ. We have found more dastardly heretical interwebsites, some of which have tried to escape our wrath with the use of latin, but to no avail:

Wherefore in the name of God the All-powerful, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, of the Blessed Peter, Prince of the Apostles, and of all the saints, in virtue of the power which has been given us in binding and loosing in Heaven and on earth, we deprive them and all their accomplices and all their abettors of the Communion of the Body and Blood of Our Lord, we separate them from the society of all Christians, we exclude them from the bosom of our Holy Mother the Church in Heaven and on earth, we declare them excommunicated and anathemized and we judge them condemned to eternal fire with Satan and all his angels and all the reprobate, so long as they will not burst the fetters of the demon, do penance and satisfy the Church; we deliver them to Satan to mortify their bodies, that their souls may be saved on the day of judgement.

But do not fret, Truly Traditional! There is a new order of vocations whose mission is to spread the Truthy Truth to all nations and to slay the apostates in its wake! The Holy Knights of The Truly True Church! I encourage everyone who has a son who feels called to the priesthood (or even if they don't!) to consider talking with the vocations director, Sir Rev. Feeney.

Picnic Preparations

2007-07-02T17:07:00.000-07:00

Well, today has been a busy day around the rectory. Fr. Heidrich is busy baking his penitential brownies. I picked up my good ferraiolo from the dry cleaners. The Borgias dropped off the doubles from their latest child's Baptism (little Cesare).

I also received some instructions from the Spirit of Vatican II picnic coordinators. NO WEAPONS OF ANY KIND SHALL BE ALLOWED ON THE PICNIC GROUNDS. That includes guns, knives, bombs, grenades, spears, pikes, maces, arrows, poisons, lances, holy water, or catechisms. I am particularly disappointed in the last one, as I had planned to bring about 200,000 copies of tracts on the errors of the Conciliar Church illustrated by Jack Chick.

I apologize to Vincenzo, Lorenzo, Alessandro, Francesco, and Sir Rev. Feeney for the inconvenience. I tried to defend your Second Amendment Rights, but the SOV2 folks just would not concede.

Act of Mercy

2007-07-01T14:18:00.000-07:00

If anyone has any funds to spare (after the 95% tithe of course), there is an opportunity to help a fellow Truly Traditional Catholic. Sir Rev. Leonard Feeney is in need of transportation to Knoxville, hopefully in time for the picnic. Sir Rev. Feeney has been quite amicable in our corespondences--very much like Fr. Anderson--and may appease those who have complained to me about Fr. Heidrich being (que veut dire?) "Too soft".

Interweblog Rating

2007-06-29T20:45:00.000-07:00

I'm quite surprised by our rating. We openly discuss the evils and consequences of heresy here that I would not think appropriate for children. Also, we are very selective as to who we admit here at St. Leo's.

Mingle² - Online Dating

An Announcement

2007-06-27T21:14:00.000-07:00

I have been informed by Vincenzo and Alto Borgia of the Altar Society (and our newest and most generous benefactors, I might add) that no more contributions to the Motu Propio betting pool will be accepted. Thank you.

Also, I forgot to mention in the bulletin the Free Triddy bears are currently available in the vestibule (no, the bears themselves are NOT free).

Miraculous Photograph!

2007-06-27T11:26:00.000-07:00

This is really SCARY!!! Is it an Apparition of the Holy Ghost? A sign of the apocalypse?? A demon? Whatever it is, it is definitely supernatural cause lights don't just appear in the air like that! I've gotta ask Fr. Chad about this!

Reinforcements Arrive!

2007-06-25T12:36:00.000-07:00

With all the recent excommunications, I do not want people to despair and think ALL the world is in Darkness (though almost all of it is). So today I give you some other Truly Traditional Catholics who share in our cause:

Also Fr. Heidrich has agreed to attend the picnic, under the condition that HE shall bake the brownies to ensure they are not enjoyable and in fact a penance to consume.

Hi, everybody!

2007-06-23T21:00:00.000-07:00

I'm George the Organist. I'm burning the midnight oil tonight repairing the organ. We ran a test run Friday with some gregorian chant and in a few minutes there was this lady's scream and Fr. Chad told me it was some evil woman in polyester possessed by a vatican spirit. I'm terribly afraid of ghosts and demons and the like I shouldn't be writing about them when its all dark here and the bewitching hour it scares me but fortunately i'm standing on holy ground so i'm ok.

Fr. Chad made me an inkiziter i think that's what he called it so I need to add some websites. I didn't want to take the job because it takes me away from my organ (Fr. Chad you really shouldn't have disassembled it the way you did you broke several trackers and i had to replace some of the flue pipes) but I always obey Fr. Chad so I accepted the job so here are those websites he told me to add. I'm not so poetic with ex-communicating people like Fr. Chad and Fr. Michael are but here is the list of websites he told me to add:

Lack of Funds

2007-06-23T16:04:00.000-07:00

Hopefully none of you read the SOV2 interweblog, as you would have committed a mortal sin if you did, but IF you did, I need to clarify a few things, lest anyone believe I have been conspiring with heretics. I was NOT planning any sort of "picnic" as Fr. Plarvik suggests. My plans were more along the lines of a coup d'etat while Fr. Plarvik was away so I could sell that horrid building for scrap and use the funds to build our new Chapel. Unfortunately, he refused to give me sole custody of the grounds. I did, however, manage to work out a new fundraising scheme.

We will be holding a bake sale during SOV2's "celebration." Every person will be given a QUOTA of 1200 brownies which must be sold at $5.00 a piece. If one does not sell all their brownies, they MUST purchase the remaining baked goods themselves.

I am REQUIRING all faithful Catholics to attend. I might have difficulty convincing Fr. Heidrich that picnics are not intrinsically evil (though there are plenty of occasions of sin at such festivities and I ask everyone to have custody of the eyes, ESPECIALLY around the labyrinth/main building area)

Meanwhile I have been given an offer by a nice, pious Italian family who may be able to help us in our renovation.

Liturgical Abuse!

2007-06-22T17:51:00.000-07:00

The above "Mass" is from the Church of St. Agnes in St. Paul, MN. It follows the rubrics of the Novus Ordo. It is only a matter of time before they begin celebrating CLOWN MASSES!

Meanwhile Agent Smith showed me some of the high resolution photographs he has taken of what an SOV2 liturgy is like. It is so horrid I cannot post the details for it is dangerous for the weak of faith (or faint of heart!). Besides, he said they were classified.

Inquisitor Generalis

2007-06-20T20:34:00.000-07:00

In order to deal with the increasing number of heresy sightings, I have installed a new position of Inquisitor Generalis here at the Chapel. Due to our current staff shortage, George the Organist will have to take on this position as well. I have installed the above Mouth in which one can deposit anonymously reports of heresy and derision. I had to spend the renovation funds to have it installed, I'm afraid.

Accusations may also be mailed to:
Inquisitor General
c/o St. Leo the Great Chapel
1962 Main St. N.
Knoxville, TN 37929

Or they may be left in the comments box of this post.

Pray that our endeavor would be pleasing to Tomas de Torquemada, of good memory.

Further Excommunications

2007-06-20T10:34:00.000-07:00

My, the interweb is just filled with heresy, isn't it?

The following we condemn with bell, book and candle:

Digihairshirt- Appropriate name, but inappropriate love for Novus Ordo
Roving Medievalist- Loves all things Medieval, then insists on the silly notion we all obey the Pope! For shame!
Everything You Knew is Wrong- Supports "Indult Masses"
WardWideWeb- Critic of the Truly Traditional; thinks our pious Chapel is "crazy" for some strange reason.
Institute of Christ the King- "Order" of Indult-celebrating Priests
Canons Regular of St. John Cantius- more Novus Ordo and Indult Priests

These interweblogs are crafty, looking all Truly Traditional on the outside, but filled with warm and fuzzy Conciliarism on the inside. THE TRULY TRADITIONAL BEWARE!!

Renovation Preview

2007-06-18T19:11:00.000-07:00

I am happy to give all Faithful Catholics a preview of our renovation plans for St. Leo the Great Chapel. I realize it may not be ornate enough for everyone's tastes, but hopefully our humble chapel may be capable of giving glory to Almighty God, nonetheless.

Support Totus Pius!

2007-06-18T18:05:00.000-07:00

Of course, my favorite Pontiff is St. Leo the Great. But any Pope named Pius ties for second. So of course, when an interweblog comes into being that has the support of ALL the Piuses, I have no choice but to approve. Especially of note is their current mission to alleviate the suffering of so-called "churches" possessed with the Spirit of Vatican II. Such establishments will assuredly be set "aflame" with the Holy Ghost. I encourage anyone who has the means to support this new ministry established by Their Holinesses.

Also, everyone please be on your best behavior, as a special guest from Washington, DC will be staying with us.

Sunday within the Octave of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus/Third Sunday After Pentecost

2007-06-17T20:46:00.001-07:00

Fr. Heidrich gave an inspired homily this Sunday. I hope he decides to post it here. Father also informed me that I could cut my penance in half if all the parishoners share in my suffering. Therefore A MANDATORY WEARING OF HAIRSHIRTS FOR SEVEN DAYS HAS BEEN ISSUED. This is not to replace the mandatory fast celebrating Fr. Heidrich's arrival.

Today's collection was the best ever! After issuing the mandatory tithe, we have raised a total of $93.81 for much needed renovations for our chapel.

Earlier today I passed by that ugly Spirit of Vatican II on Dry Gap Pike and saw it surrounded by strange hooded men with AKs. They looked like Infidels to me. One of them was the man who sold me that deplorable weapon of the evil Communists. As it turns out, that treachorous man was none other than one Dr. al-Fakkir, recently appointed head of "Ecumenical Outreach" over at SOV2! I should of known Fr. Plarvik was behind this plot to destroy the faith of the Truly Traditional!

Electing Bishops: A Catechism

2007-06-17T18:24:00.000-07:00

I have received several inquiries regarding the current sede vacante situation here in Knoxville and the impending election. I have therefore taken the liberty of writing a short catechism in order to address these questions.

Q) What does "sede vacante" mean?

A) "Sede vacante" is latin meaning "vacant seat". Here it does not refer to a literal seat but to the position or "See" of a Bishop. The See in question here is that of the Diocese of Knoxville.

Q) Is not a bishop appointed by the Pope?

A) Under normal circumstances, yes. However Pope Benedict has succumbed to the evils of Vatican II. This heresy makes the Pope incapable of choosing an approprite bishop for the Diocese of Knoxville. THE GATES OF HELL SHALL NOT PREVAIL AGAINST THE CHURCH! A Bishop must exist in order to continue the True Tradition of the Church unto the End of Time. This presents an extraordinary situation in which Bishops may be elected. Therefore it is the DUTY of all Truly Traditional Catholics to continue the Sacred Mission of the Church by electing moi, Fr. Chadwick LeJanvier, your Bishop.

Q) Who may elect a Bishop?

A) Any Truly Traditional Catholic may vote for Bishop. Votes cast by the heretics are INVALID!

Q) Who is a Truly Traditional Catholic?

A) Truly Traditional Catholics are those who reject Modernism in all its forms and fulfill their Sunday Obligation at a SSLI Chapel.

Q) How may one become a Truly Traditional Catholic?

A) Anyone may join a Truly Traditional Church by submitting to ALL the teachings of the Truly Traditional Church and by repenting with sackcloth and ashes. One may then show his baptismal certificate to the nearest SSLI Chapel to join (assuming of course one can meet the mandatory 90% tithe).

Q) Are you even a validly ordained Priest?

A) I was ordained on the same boat Fr. Plarvik was. This was in order to escape the persecutions of the Conciliar dioceses who refused to obey the WILL OF GOD by performing my ordination. So if you must question my ordination, you must also question Fr. Plarvik's.

Opus Diabolis

2007-06-15T11:52:00.000-07:00

There is so much decadence on television. The only good thing to be found is Steven Colbert. He is the most honest and genuine person in the media. His devotion towards truthiness is applaudable. I would watch him every day except I shot my television set with my AK not too long ago.

Before I shot my television, however, there was a lot of talk about "Opus Dei". At first I was intrigued. Monk-assassins performing mortification until they bleed sounded like an order I could truly go for. But then I was disappointed to find out just how LIBERAL they really are. First of all, they believe that lay people performing earthly occupations can be done as an offering to God. This sounds like some Conciliar idea to me, as if everyone is a priest on some level. Now I have never read any Vatican II documents (it would be sinful for me to do so!), but I know it is heretical based on its fruits. Just look at nearby Spirit of Vatican II "Church"! Vatican II just HAS to be evil!

You also know Opus Dei must be heretical because John Paul II gave them a personal prelature. The last time I tried to get SSLI made a personal prelature, I was shown the door by some Swiss Guards.

Opus Dei has been added to the Index, along with Jane-of-Art (Thank you for the tip, Fr. Heidrich!)

Also all Truly Traditional Catholics MUST avoid the Priestly Fraternity of St. Peter! Sure, they LOOK traditional, but they are really Council-loving MODERNISTS!!

un petit même

2007-06-13T20:31:00.000-07:00

I have been asked to complete a "même" listing what things do not bother me. Fortunately I was not asked for a list of things that do bother me, as that list would be considerably longer. In no particular order:

Latin
Republicans
Holy War
fasting for 40 days
corporal mortification
dissent against Vatican II
suppressed private revelation
censorship
cultural superiority
wearing black in summer
tithing
caesaropapism
sedevacantism
Feeneyism
cheese
scrupulosity
the Spanish Inquisition (NOBODY expected that, right?)
witch hunts
burning heretics
the "Dark Ages"
Mel Gibson

I am fairly sure everything else bothers me.

Welcome Fr. Heidrich

2007-06-12T23:21:00.000-07:00

Faithful Catholics of St. Leo the Great, please welcome the Rev. Fr. Michael A. Heidrich to our chapel. He is from the Regensburg diocese in Bavaria, Germany. His ordination was performed by Archbishop Marcel LeFebvre, SSPX, himself, of blessed memory (requiescat in pacem). He should be a fine contributor to our mission.

Fr. Anderson Found!

2007-06-12T21:39:00.000-07:00

Dear friends, I have just received a correspondence from Fr. Anderson. Here is the letter in full:

Fr. Chadwick LeJanvier, SSLI
St. Leo the Great Chapel
1962 Main St. N.
Knoxville, TN 37929

Fr. LeJanvier:

I reget to inform ye tha' aie will not bae attendin' St. Leo's as yer associate pastor. Aie'll be transferrin' to a mission in Iraq thae'll conquer the Infidels wi'ar Holy Tradition. Soon thae Chaldeans will submit tae Rome an' tae One, Truly True Church. Don't ye be worryin' bout mae safety; Aie got mae Blessed Blades and Aie'm not so easy tae kill.

"In the name of God, impure souls of the living dead shall be banished into eternal damnation. Amen."

Fr. Alexander Anderson, SSLI
Paladin, Section XIII Iscariot Organization

Please give spiritual and material support Fr. Anderson and Section XIII and their mission in Iraq. Most Modernists don't care about the Chaldeans' salvation, but that's because they have abandoned extra Ecclesiam nulla salus.

I have already been able to contact a replacement for Fr. Anderson. I can assure you that he is of the same mind as our former associate.

Where's Fr. Anderson?

2007-06-11T18:49:00.000-07:00

Has anyone heard from Fr. Anderson? I know he departed for London on some mission. I thought he said something about hunting vampires before he left, but he has such a one-track mind when he starts reciting Psalms I did not get much information from him.

Index Prohibitum

2007-06-11T11:18:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of so-called "Catholic" websites on the interweb spouting all sorts of terrible heresies. I have therefore decided to start a list to warn faithful Catholics of the danger.

The following interwebsites are VERBOTEN:

The Holy See- contains Concililar Documents and an "updated" Catechism and Code of Canon Law (As if they ever need updating!)
EWTN- "Catholic" television network that broadcasts Novus Ordo "Masses" and Conciliar teachings
Curt Jester- "comedian" who often makes fun of us "rad trads". At least he supports the Motu Propio
Spirit of Vatican 2- a deplorable local "Catholic faith community" whose transgressions are too long to even list here.

Remember, NO ONE is allowed to visit these interwebsites under penalty of MORTAL SIN! I'm sure this Index will have to be updated frequently over the course of time.

Why Leo I?

2007-06-10T20:37:00.000-07:00

I am often asked why we chose as our Patron Leo the Great, Pont. Max. In the sixth century, Atilla the Hun had plundered much of Europe and had arrived even at the gates of Rome. St. Leo met to parley with the Barbarian leader. St. Peter and St. Paul appeared in the sky to aid him, and the Huns were driven back, never to return. This we find to be a worthy metaphor for the great battle waged during these Modernist times we live in.

It is also appropriate because we do not accept the teachings of Pope Hilarius, Leo's successor. We believe that at some point during his reign, Pope Hilarius was kidnapped and replaced with a double. Here is the photographic evidence to prove it:

Just look at them, they aren't the same person! We simply cannot take Pope Hilarius seriously.

We do, however, recognize the authority of Pope Benedict XVI and keep him in our prayers. Here is an example of a prayer we offer for the Holy Father:

Oh God, the shepherd and guide of all the faithful, look with favor upon Thy servant Pope Benedict XVI, whom Thou hast placed as pastor over Thy Church. Grant him, we beseech Thee, to leadest him out of the DARKNESS OF HERESY and LIBERALISM in which he walks and bring him into the LIGHT OF TRUTH. Amen.

Bienvenue!

2007-06-08T18:45:00.000-07:00

I have recently discovered this wonderful advancement of weblogging. Now even the Interweb may be sanctified.

I had a terrible time arriving in Knoxville today. For those that don't know, I had ordered a genuine Baroque Pipe organ on the interweb location e-bay. Being new to this, however, I failed to notice the fine print which read, "Pickup only". So having hauled the instrument almost to my destination, it failed to clear an underpass outside of Louisville. You should have seen the commotion! Upon arriving at St. Leo's, I was dismayed to realize it would not clear the doorway. I had to disassemble it pipe by pipe. I hope George knows how to reassemble it when he gets back.