Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Our Lady of Knoxville

Having examined the apple brought to me by George, I am officially declaring this an authentic apparition of Our Lady. Surely this portends God's blessings on our humble apostolate.

To celebrate this momentous occasion, a 72-hour MANDATORY period of fasting and prayer shall commence at midnight before the Image. Remember, all TRULY traditional Catholics must believe in the authenticity of this apparition DE FIDE, just like Fatima or Our Lady of the Roses.

A reliquary will be designed for this miraculous Image (pictured below) and will be promenently displayed in the soon-to-be completed chapel.


FR. CHAD! FR. CHAD! Just now I cut open an apple, but today I cut it sideways and found the seeds shaped like a star but even more than that there was an image of the Virgin Mary inside! I'll bring it over to the chapel at rehearsal.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Those who have walked in darkness....

Deo gratias! Finally we are able to pay our electricity and interweb bills. Money has been tight since the Borgias left us. They have gone on pilgrimage to Mexico for an undisclosed amount of time. They unfortunately left no contact information as they did not want Agent Smith to know their whereabouts for some odd reason.