Some announcements that failed to make the bulletin. In order to not emulate the Novus Ordo, I refuse to make announcements in the midst of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, but I've been so busy with the construction project I forgot to mention them here until now. Also, due to recent developments, I have some more to add.
Since our destruction of a city block downtown and subsequent celebration of the Eucharist in a tent on the construction site, curiosity in the SSLI has grown considerably. However, this has also attracted certain "undesirables". These persons do not come dressed in appropriate attire to stand before Our Lord. Anything short of a SUIT AND TIE for men and a MANTILLA AND DRESS for women is UNACCEPTABLE ATTIRE. Being an on-call nurse practitioner or being poor and homeless are NOT ACCEPTABLE EXCUSES. I will not tolerate our Chapel becoming a Novus Ordo circus.
Friday Bingo Night will now also include roulette and a craps table thanks to the generous help of the Borgia family. Proceeds will of course go towards the Renovation Fund (after a percentage asked to cover Vincenzo's operating expenses).
As some may have heard, certain charges against our own Sir Feeney have been levied. Having investigated the charges myself, I have confirmed that he is indeed an escaped mental patient but more importantly has received valid Orders. I therefore see no problem in keeping the Holy Knights of the Truly Traditional Church as an Order of the SSLI. A reminder that we only offer spiritual support and have no administrative ties to the organization (and thus we know nothing of Mr. Fawcett's disappearance).
Finally, St. Benedict medals are available in the vestibule (currently the large hole before you reach the tent) for a small fee of $2.99 for aid in the protection against evil, which the presence of witchcraft in our fair city has wrought upon us all.