Sunday, July 1, 2007

Act of Mercy

If anyone has any funds to spare (after the 95% tithe of course), there is an opportunity to help a fellow Truly Traditional Catholic. Sir Rev. Leonard Feeney is in need of transportation to Knoxville, hopefully in time for the picnic. Sir Rev. Feeney has been quite amicable in our corespondences--very much like Fr. Anderson--and may appease those who have complained to me about Fr. Heidrich being (que veut dire?) "Too soft".


Sir Rev. Leonard Feeney, HKTTC said...

Thank ye, Fr. Chadwick, for posting a bulletin about mine plight. I must note, however, that all my expenses have just doubled as a result of the events of today.

Rejoice, ye Truly True Catholics, for one less soul has been lost to the fires of Hell! Today, I have converted, and taken into my company, an earnest young lad I met here in the truckstop's game room. His name is Alejandro Edmundo Guatarahas, and I caught the little urchin trying to pickpocket ye's truly. After accosting him, I learned that his father and mother were tragically killed in a turnip farming accident and he has been surviving via criminal exploits for the past five years. I realized that the orphan lad had real pluck, and so I began to explain to him about the TRUTH. He enthusiastically expressed his desire to enter the Truly True Church. Imagine, the boy is only 16 and yet he can see the TRUTH plainly, while old dusty biddies like Sr. Fairah are lost in the darkness. Out of the mouth of babes!

I duly baptized him, confirmed him into the Truly True Church, and then he swore an oath of obedience to the Order on my sword's hilt. Allow me to introduce my squire, and the HKTTC's first novice, Squire Br. Lefebvre Fellay Denzinger. (Brother will become eligible for temporary vows once he has slain his first heretic.)

Now that the armed might of the HKTTC has increased by 50%, Brother and I plan on liberating a semitruck from one of its drivers. It's not stealing, it's merely an application of this 'Liberation Theology' those nutjobs over at SPV2 FC are always gushing about. We liberate from the heretics that which is needed by the Truly True Church! Brother even suggested liberating a lumber truck, so that we could arrive in Knoxville with free building materials for the Cathedral's construction. Brilliant!

I think you will be most pleased with Brother, Father. He is eager to start catechesis with you so that he can defeat the heretics intellectually, and he has already begun arms training with me so that he can defeat them on the glorious field of battle. There must be a thin line between thievery and knighting, because the lad has really taken to his vocation with gusto.

Sir Rev. Leonard Feeney, HKTTC
(Brother sends his greetings as well)

Anonymous said...

Always two there are, a master and an apprentice.

Rae said...

Will there be any windmills for you in Knoxville, Sir Feeney? Methinks you'll find more of them out in Wichita...

Sir Rev. Leonard Feeney, HKTTC said...

Hark ye 'anonymous' who quotes the pagan sage Yoda: When the upcoming exploits of the HKTTC at the SP2 picnic are heralded throughout Christendom, I assure you that there will be many True Catholic men clamoring to become novice knight-monks.

Rae, if the windmills believed the Modernist doctrine that spews from Apostate Rome, I assure you that I would give them a mighty swipe with my sword. Even manmade objects must be brought to faithful obedience to the Truly True Church.

Sir Rev. Leonard Feeney, HKTTC
'Heretic HeadCollector'