Wednesday, June 27, 2007

An Announcement

I have been informed by Vincenzo and Alto Borgia of the Altar Society (and our newest and most generous benefactors, I might add) that no more contributions to the Motu Propio betting pool will be accepted. Thank you.

Also, I forgot to mention in the bulletin the Free Triddy bears are currently available in the vestibule (no, the bears themselves are NOT free).

8 comments:

Rev. Fr. Michael said...

$99.99 + applicable taxes and surcharges (blessed Triddys available for a limited time for $149.99)

+ Rev. Fr. Michael A. Heidrich +

swissmiss said...

Triddy looks cute, but I think he bites.

Hidden One said...

*waiting for the Society of St. Peter I...

Hidden One said...

On that note, are these bears available to the excommunicated? It occurs to me that a shower of redeeming grace couldn't hurt our poor and dreary, true-church-less lives.

Rev. Fr. Michael said...

At a SUBSTANTIAL PREMIUM PRICE... perhaps.

+ Rev. Fr. Michael A. Heidrich +

Rev. Leonard Feeney II said...

At a SUBSTANTIAL PREMIUM PRICE
Yes...like $666 or 30 pieces of silver.

The symbolism will be lost on the more obstinate of the heretics, of course.

The proceeds from these Triddybears can be used to finance our future crusade against the apostates. I find that seperating a heretic's head from his shoulders is the most effective way of argument. Not to mention more time-efficient...

I am currently modifying His Holiness Innocent III's papal bull for the Albigensian Crusade to this end--really, as long as I keep replacing "Cathars" with "NewChurch", it's fairly easy work.

How does a traditional cleric join the SSLI? I am getting lonely in my independent chapel...it's just me, my server, and those three old Italian ladies.

radtradchad said...

THREE old Italian ladies? You must be quite the Evangelist! We only have Vincenzo's mother, Lucrezia.

For clerics to join the SSLI, a cirriculum vitae must be sent to the electronic address at right outlining what heretical organizations one has belonged to (e.g. the Diocese of Knoxville, FSSP, etc.), a renunciation of all previous affiliation of said organizations and an oath of allegiance to the Truly True Church.

My mother's maiden name was Feeney. Could we perhaps be related?

-Fr. Chadwick LeJanvier, SSLI

Sir Rev. Leonard Feeney, HKTTC said...

Rev. Fr. Chadwick,

I am insulted that you think I have ever belonged to despicable heretics like the Diocese of Knoxville! I have always been a member of the Truly True Church, even though I may not have been attending St. Leo the Great Chapel. I was spiritually a member of Eternal Rome, which I now know is located in a storefront in the redlight district of Knoxville.

Regardless, I have wonderful news to share with you, Father. I had a vision today during my three hour self-flagellation session. I saw pure dogma rising out of Knoxville and heretics fleeing before it. Modernist-free texts were dispersed via the weaponry of Christian knight-monks. Protestant and Orthodox heretics fleed along with the apostate Roman Church's members. GLORIOUS!

I immediately ran to my study and took down my antique sword, which dates from the first Crusade and still has the blood of the heathen Turks upon it. I self-knighted myself, commandered my neighbor's horse, and proceeded downtown, where I liberated a Crusaders' mail from the local History Museum.

I am now Sir Rev. Leonard Feeney, First Knight Supreme of the Holy Knights of the Truly True Church. I immediately began heading for Knoxville, but my mount tired, and provisions began to run low. I'm currently stuck in Wichita using the wifi at a truck stop, but I assure you, that as soon as I can find a trucker who will give a sword-wielding hitchhiker a ride, I will resume my pilgrimage to the SSLI. There I will place my sword in your service, and begin a 190-day fast in preparation for the impending battle. I fear this might the battle foretold in the Apocalypse of John; I must be prepared to lead the forces of the Truly True Church against the AntiChrist.

Your humble and obedient knight-servant,

Sir Rev. Leonard Feeney, HKTTC