Fr. Heidrich gave an inspired homily this Sunday. I hope he decides to post it here. Father also informed me that I could cut my penance in half if all the parishoners share in my suffering. Therefore A MANDATORY WEARING OF HAIRSHIRTS FOR SEVEN DAYS HAS BEEN ISSUED. This is not to replace the mandatory fast celebrating Fr. Heidrich's arrival.
Today's collection was the best ever! After issuing the mandatory tithe, we have raised a total of $93.81 for much needed renovations for our chapel.
Earlier today I passed by that ugly Spirit of Vatican II on Dry Gap Pike and saw it surrounded by strange hooded men with AKs. They looked like Infidels to me. One of them was the man who sold me that deplorable weapon of the evil Communists. As it turns out, that treachorous man was none other than one Dr. al-Fakkir, recently appointed head of "Ecumenical Outreach" over at SOV2! I should of known Fr. Plarvik was behind this plot to destroy the faith of the Truly Traditional!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Good evening, Fr. Lejanvier,
I work for the Department of Homeland Security. My supervisor, Agent Johnson, sent me to Knoxville to investigate numerous "incidents" that have occurred in the area subsequent to the opening of the Spirit of Vatican II Church... or... ahem... thing (I don't believe I have ever seen anything quite like that building, especially not a Church). When I arrived at Dry Gap Pike, it was deserted--although I could have sworn I heard the faint echo of a man screaming in Arabic. On the door was a curious sign: "GONEE TO HAVEE OUR STOMACHS STAPLEED."
Well to make a long story short, I was wondering if you had any rooms that I could rent--I'm sure the government would adequately compensate you--so that I could continue my surveillance of that vicinity.
Agent Peter Smith, Jr.
Of course, Agent Smith. Anything to help the demise of SOV2--erm, I mean display my patriotism by supporting Homeland Security. Quarters are a bit cramped, mind, but we're currently drawing up plans for a major renovation.
You can also take this AK-47 I received from Dr. al-Fakkir as evidence. I was sold it under false pretenses and wasn't aware of it's Communist origins nor its illegality.
-Fr. Chadwick LeJanvier, SSLI
Post a Comment