In order to deal with the increasing number of heresy sightings, I have installed a new position of Inquisitor Generalis here at the Chapel. Due to our current staff shortage, George the Organist will have to take on this position as well. I have installed the above Mouth in which one can deposit anonymously reports of heresy and derision. I had to spend the renovation funds to have it installed, I'm afraid.
Accusations may also be mailed to:
Inquisitor General
c/o St. Leo the Great Chapel
1962 Main St. N.
Knoxville, TN 37929
Or they may be left in the comments box of this post.
Pray that our endeavor would be pleasing to Tomas de Torquemada, of good memory.
11 comments:
Fr. Chad, following is a list of heretics for you to investigate:
Fr. Juno Aroymba
Special Agent Smith
Adoro Te Devote
Fr. Chad LeJanvier
Jeff Miller
Christopher Blosser
Amy Wellborn
Mark Shea
George Weigel
Dick Cheney
George W. Bush
Dick Armey
Anyone who says Global Warming is Fake
Jospeh Lieberman
Dr. Bill Frist
Mayor Ragsdale
Mayor Haslam
All of the priests in Knoxville
the Knights of Columbus
the Ladies of Charity
Thank you for the forum
-Anonymous Tipster
How about those back stabbers in Brazil who reconciled with Rome a couple years back? Bishop Rangel deserves to be boiled in oil.
All of this talk of heresy and evil makes me wonder...
Have you ever performed an exorcism? If so, will you tell us about it--for our spiritual benefit, of course?
I simply cannot compel myself to excommunicate Republicans, I'm afraid. I know many of them are not Catholic and thus are doomed to burn in hell for all eternity, but I always end up agreeing with everything they say. They also understand it is good to ignore the Pope in defense of Conservative values.
-Fr. Chadwick LeJanvier, SSLI
RTC,
A good call.
A very good call.
However, you could just make a sweeping excommunication of all Demon-crats, if you would be so kind.
AMDG,
Mrs Patrick Donnelly
Fr. Tim ~ And this, the most unkindest cut of all. Et tu, Brute'?
What are you DOING! You'd be first on the block!
Besides, I've already been excommunicated. By virtue of that, your "community" should canonize me.
Gathering evidence can be a lot of work--I know this from experience. Since you have been so kind to me during my stay, I am willing to give George a few pointers...
There's a method that I was taught--much like triage in a hospital--to identify the worst cases first and work your way down from there. Also, there is much that he can learn about filling out a dossier (he can use my typewriter for that; it just doesn't look right coming from the computer).
Agent Smith,
Department of Homeland Security
Having spent (oh gosh, I hate to admit this) six or so years in the SSPX this is the funniest stuff I have ever read. It is soooooooooooo true.
Am I going to be excommunicated now?????????
Adrienne… EXCOMMUNICATED
+ Rev. Fr. Michael A. Heidrich +
Well, no one should worry about being excommunicated. You can always join another religion, and all religions are vessels of grace, right Fr. Heidrich?
Right on, Rob! What's that old saying? Outside the church there's lots of salvation... something like that. I love that phrase: Vessels of Grace. I think that will be the title for my next homily.
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